Battle Scars and a Story
The look on his face displayed as if the atmosphere appeared 10 degrees below zero. Who knew the night of September 18, 2009, would be a journey to the terminal battle for my life. As the blood flowed through the conduit, my mind went into many different thoughts. How could this happen to me? Is this normal? All the commotion filled the room around me and, as a child, it transpired into fear. I could see my parents leave the room every so often and whisper softly to each other as if they kept something from me. Afterwards, my thought process went blank; and not just for sometime, but my mind went blank for a measurement of years. During this process, I remained in between not healthy and not normal. My heart thickened with bottles of hurt so the distance was necessary to help me forget everything around me. The damage obtained inside me grew to where I almost lost hope.
After three years went by, my health improved. I neared normalcy. My blood counts came up, I remained out of the hospital, went to school, and has six month appointments. Suddenly, my nightmare became a reality, again. Everthing became worse; my blood counts bottomed out, and I could not go back to school until 2014. My Aplastic Anemia formed back into my bone marrow. Little hope existed for me at that point. It was December 0f 2012, and my time became short. I did not have long to live, and life for me became short by the day. My parents and I did not want to go through a Bone Marrow Transplant, but the doctor finally told them, "If she does not go through the Bone Marrow Transplant, she will die." My only cure, my only hope lay in the Bone Marrow Transplant, but the problem of finding the right person to donate became difficult.
The search began in February of 2013 and I had to donors on the list. One ensured a 100% match, but appeared unavailable for two years and the second donor only wanted to give the bone marrow through his arm and not his back. Sadly, it did not take long for both to back out. I felt abandoned; as if no one wanted to save me from death. At this point, I felt as if I didn't even have any hope for a tomorrow. Because of the abandonment planted inside my brain, the days seemed more prolonged. When I went to my next appointment, a couple of weeks later, I approached the doctor's office and sensed the feeling of hopelessness around me. During my visit, I feared receiving the worst news of my life, but instead my doctors gave me hope. Only one donor felt willing to give his bone marrow through the back and had set the date for April 23, 2013, to have his bone marrow removed. I finally had hope. Could this person save me from death? The first five days of chemo were easy, I did not understand completely how everything would work, so i kept my mind completely blank.
During those first days, I took it very easy; decorated my room, picked out movies to watch, and played card games. It was April 24, 2013, and I had a couple of important visitors for my "second birthday." I held the bag of bone marrow in my hands and looked at it with joy. This one bag of blood could save my life completely from this suffering and I knew then the long road ahead of me stretched endlessly.
I became weak, almost too weak to walk again. I did not eat, at all. I did not know if if was the chemo or just me, but I began to tell myself, "I'm going to die soon. At this point, the chemo was my worst enemy, more so than death itself. In my mind, death did not scare me; in fact, I did not mind dying. I knew where I would go if I had passed away; the only thing giving me hope was my faith. That night, I looked at my fragile self in the mirror for the last time, and I knew I would never be the same again. Over time, it became so hard for me to look at myself: piece by piece I fell apart, mentally and physically. "I promise I will not let you die, but you have to start eating again." I would never forget those words; the whisper I heard in my heart only spoken by the eys of the beholder. This ethereal voice spoke so softly to me, making me believe it was true. At this point, I needed something to cling to, so I could find a way out of this room inside my brain that I have been locked. Gaining any strength bacame the only way out of my misery. Those last several days I began to lose hope; no improvement, no blood work had came in...nothing. The day I was sure the doctors would call my Bone Marrow Transplant a failure, my white blood count came in by one point. This finally opened up my mind to start eating, even when I felt at my worst, I knew I needed to eat in order to get out of my misery. Each day, the misery disappeared and was replaced by the shining hope for my new life.
As time went by, I had to build myself back up again physically; not the easiet process, but I managed to hold up strength. In an attempt to return to my normal life, I began taking classes, and a teacher was sent to my house to provide homebound education. While being homebound, I had a very generous, caring teacher. She understood me and she made things easier for me in school. She uderstood me and she made things easier for me in school. She became the first person, in my new life, that impacted me so much and Obrought me so far in my life. Sadly, after I had returned to schoolm she was diagnosed with breast cancer. But she once told me "This is not a burden, but a gift. You are the person bringing me through this. All of the many things you learned, I'm now learning myself. This is my new j ourney,and I will share it with you." Returning to school seemed very difficult for me. Many kinds made fun of me saying very cruel things. but the one comment that stood out to me was "You look like you belong in the hospital." This one cruel comment, made me strive to become stronger.
Over the years I worked hard in school. I began to play tennis and run cross country, which brought my stamina up by a lot, I managed to keep a 4.0 GPA, and I began to look much healthier. I have seen the transformation in myself since my Bone Marrow Transplant and it is life changing. All of the may tings I saw as negatives, I made them into positives that brought me to where I am today. I wanted to become a better image thatn what people thought of me. I strive to be smart, athletic, and healthy; all the tings that make a person "normal."
My Donor showed me the meaning of real sacrifice. He sacrificed his bone marrow to save me and no amount of words can thank him for what he did. On November 2, 2015, I finally met my donor. Looking at the crowd, I could spot him with no hesitation, and I had never seen him before in my life. As he approached me, I became speechless. My eyes became overwhelmed with tears I could not hold back. This man never knew me before, and he saved my life. That's real love. I put my arms around him and finally told him what i have always wanted to say, "If it wasn't for you, I know where I would be today." I realized then how much my donor meant to me. And because of his generosity, now I have a normal life, a much happier, more valuable life. ~Meredith~. He had my name tattooed on his arm with the date, April 23, 2013, underneath it. This portrayed a remembrance of the little, fragile life he saved five years ago. If my donor had not provided his bone marow, I would not have a story to tell. I dedicate my whole new life to my donor.
Because of my donor, I am alive today and have accomplished so much in my life. Seven years ago, I would have never thought I would accomplish all that I have. It is more than I could have ever impaged when I was sick. My faith and determination encouraged me to survive and fight my battle. Without him, no one could have been able to save me from death, because I know in my heart he is the only person who could. I hope one day my story will change others' lives and encourage them to donate and save a child's life from death. Even to this day, I still fight for my life, not because I'm afraid to become sick again, but because I do not want to lose my new life. In my heart, Aplastic Anemia became a part of me, and I know this was meant to happen to me. My story is not a burden, it is something I will always cherish.
Meredith Head FAQ:
1. What school are you attending?
I am attending school at Huntingdon College.
2. What is your major?
I am majoring in Exercise Science to one day pursue a career in Occupational Therapy.
3. What plans do you have after you graduate?
After I graduate, I plan to get my masters degree and begin applying for Occupational Therapy jobs.
4. What are your interests and hobbies?
Some of my interests and hobbies are playing tennis, running, and spending time with friends and family.
5. Share whatever you would like about who Meredith Head is.
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